Arizona Cardinals: Sure the referees might have missed some calls, but they didn’t force you to allow eight sacks or build a 24-0 deficit. Again – show me a good team the Cardinals have beaten this year. I don’t think you can.
Atlanta Falcons: Beating a banged up Packers team at home by one point isn’t exactly instilling confidence, but the offense looks good. The defense looks awful though.
Baltimore Ravens: BYE WEEK
Buffalo Bills: Rex officially conceding the division to the Patriots after this loss really has to put the locker room in a weird place. I guess that’s what you get with him though – the Rah Rah when they win and the Wah Wah when they lose.
Carolina Panthers: Riverboat Ron calls out the defensive line (who was getting zero pressure on opposing QB’s all year) and suddenly they play like the defense that got them to the Super Bowl last year. Coincidence? probably.
Chicago Bears: MONDAY NIGHT GAME
Cincinnati Bengals: Navy football coach Eddie Erdelatz said that a tie is like kissing your sister. Well if anyone knows anything about kissing sisters, it’s probably the Bengals fans living in Kentucky.
Cleveland Browns: Some would argue that going 0-16 is actually tougher than going 16-0 – which the Browns seem to be taking as a personal challenge.
Dallas Cowboys: It will be interesting to see how Dallas handles the Romo/Prescott situation. For now they can kick the can down the road by claiming Romo is still not ready – but is that a long term strategy?
Denver Broncos: Some call it Denver’s formula for winning games, but we call it luck. There’s only so far that a mediocre offense and good defense can take you. And before you say “Well it won them a SB last year” don’t pretend for a second that this team is nearly as talented as last year’s squad.
Detroit Lions: Just when we think we have this team figured out, they turn around and lay an egg. But like most mediocre teams – this squad is only as good as their QB, and Stafford was not good at all on Sunday.
Green Bay Packers: I know the loss is a big gray cloud, but if there is some silver lining it’s that Rodgers was able to throw touchdowns to guys no one has ever heard of in their life.
Houston Texans: The Texans owner says that Osweiler is still practically a rookie. Well then why the hell did you pay him like an MVP?
Indianapolis Colts: Remember the year that Peyton Manning got hurt and the Colts went into “Suck for Luck” mode? This feels an awful lot like that, except we have no idea who the Colts would draft if they could beat out the Browns for the league’s worst record.
Jacksonville Jaguars: The Jags are taking a page out of the Bills’ playbook, by firing their offensive coordinator after an embarrassing TNF loss. Although, we aren’t sure this will lead to a four-game winning streak because this team is totally hot garbage.
Kansas City Chiefs: I don’t know who to pin this on – but you can’t look at Alex Smith stumbling around after his head hits the turf and think – he should be fine, let’s throw him back out there. Someone needs to be fired for letting him back on the field – looking at you Andy Reid.
Los Angeles Rams: BYE WEEK
Miami Dolphins: BYE WEEK
Minnesota Vikings: MONDAY NIGHT GAME
New England Patriots: Now that Brady is back in full force, winning has gotten too easy. So Belichick decides to trade one of his most talented defensive players to the Browns for a third round pick. You can’t make this stuff up, folks.
New Orleans Saints: In the “Jimmy Graham Cup” the ex was able to prove that they were better off without him, even if they really aren’t and it just seemed that way because his current team was like hung over and still in last night’s makeup.
New York Giants: BYE WEEK
New York Jets: Todd Bowles allegedly told the team to not bother coming back after half if they didn’t win the game. Which makes it all the more surprising that they won – considering they had a great out.
Oakland Raiders: If taking 74 minutes to beat a hapless Bucs team isn’t the sign of a championship squad, then I don’t know what is. Seriously though, we get that they were in the middle of their third road game on the east coast, but that’s essentially going to be what the playoff scenario is like for them if they don’t win the division – so get used to it.
Philadelphia Eagles: The defense played ok, I guess, but the offense is really one-dimensional. The Eagles are so scared to throw it down the field, that Philly had the fewest passing yards with 30+ completions in a game since 1950. We also can’t forget that Doug Pederson was the offensive coordinator during the Chiefs’ no-touchdowns-to-a-wide-receiver streak.
Pittsburgh Steelers: BYE WEEK
San Diego Chargers: Felipe Rios played a great second half, but dug the Chargers such a huge hole in the first half that even he couldn’t bring them out of it. Rivers has been making lemonade down in SD though, especially considering all the injuries.
San Francisco 49ers: BYE WEEK
Seattle Seahawks: Everyone wanted to see what Wilson would be like once Marshawn left. Most thought he could carry the team no problem. While we know he’s been hampered by injuries, he just doesn’t look equipped to lead his team to any more than 20 points in a game.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Jameis isn’t taking that step forward like many thought he would this year. The offense looks shaky and the defense isn’t very good either. And to top it off they now have to quickly turn around and figure out how to stop Atlanta’s offense, because they sure as hell aren’t going to win a shootout.
Tennessee Titans: Before you get your ticket aboard the Titans Hype Train, just remember that they beat one of the worst teams in the NFL this year. Even if they do manage to somehow grab a playoff spot, you can’t realistically think this team is going to do anything with it.
Washington Redskins: Last week they blow a six point lead with 1:00 on the clock, this week they tie in a very winnable game. We didn’t think they could do it, but the Redskins might actually be the most embarrassing thing in Washington this November.